Spring Cleaning Continues: Goodbye and Good Riddance, Oliver Perez

Saying goodbye to Luis Castillo was great, but Oliver Perez calls for the real celebration. Castillo at least made an effort and was a legitimate part of the competition for 2B (though that says more about the Mets' lack of good options). Ollie was just plain useless. Most importantly, the Mets were finally willing to eat an eight-figure salary.

Squawker Lisa has graciously offered to help me celebrate Castillo's departure by providing links of various calls of his dropped popup against the Yankees, a game we had the misfortune of attending. I have declined all of Lisa's generous offers. I don't need to see that play again - it's seared in my memory along with Lisa's laugh and the long walk out of Yankee Stadium and into the crowded subway surrounded by gleeful Yankee fans.

But Ollie's departure does bring back memories of games we attended that I am more willing to revisit. One was the first time I went to Citi Field. It was the second exhibition game against the Red Sox. Lisa and I were excited to try the new food options, and with Shake Shack already packed, we started with Blue Smoke. It had a long line as well, and by the time we got our ribs, the game was underway. We didn't mind because it was an exhibition, and we didn't think we'd miss much anyway. But by the time we got our food, the Mets were losing, 6-0, and it was still the top of the first.

Of course, the pitcher was Ollie, who did his part to inaugurate the new ballpark by giving up a grand slam to Jed Lowrie. Ollie was just starting his three-year deal and was already getting boos following his shaky spring, when he was accused of not staying in shape when he was participating in the World Baseball Classic.

(By the way, is it worth noting that Ollie was at least a serviceable pitcher before appearing in the WBC, but has been a disaster ever since?)

Last August, Lisa and I went to see Darryl Strawberry, Dwight Gooden, Frank Cashen and Davey Johnson inducted into the Mets Hall of Fame. The ceremony was great - the game, not so much. By the eighth inning, the Mets trailed the Diamondbacks, 10-1. It was Ollie time. He gave up a run in the eighth, earning another inning.

As the ninth inning started, Lisa and I, not sure why were were still there, realized that it would be a good time to visit the Mets Hall of Fame. So we were taking pictures of the new plaques while Ollie was giving up three more runs to make the final score 14-1. A perfect day to celebrate a time when the Mets were actually a great team.

Looking over the box score, I now see that when Ollie entered the game, so did Castillo. Talk about garbage time!

I didn't make it to another game after that, so that was the last time I saw Castillo and Perez in Met uniforms. (And, perhaps, major league uniforms.) On Mets Hall of Fame Day, Lisa and I got to say farewell to proud members of the Mets Hall of Shame.

The Five Stages of Luis Castillo Remaining on the Mets

Stage 1 - Denial: There's no way a new regime that wants to make a fresh start can bring back Luis Castillo and Oliver Perez.

Stage 2 - Anger: If these symbols of Met ineptitude are still on the team, I'm not going to buy any tickets to games.

Stage 3 - Bargaining: If you cut Castillo today, I'll buy tickets to three games. If you cut both Castillo and Perez, I'll buy a five-game plan.

Stage 4 - Depression: Who am I kidding - I'm going to go to some games whomever is on the team. And the ballpark will be a ghost town, except for the huge line which will somehow still be there at Shake Shack.

Stage 5 - Acceptance: The Mets have made a good-faith effort to find alternatives, auditioning four other players. Maybe Castillo really is the best choice at second base in this group.

But once I get to stage 5, I remember that Castillo has played under 90 games two of the last three seasons, so the odds are good that the Mets will need another second baseman at some point during 2011. And the person they pick will be someone who was beaten out in spring training by Luis Castillo.

Now, as far as Castillo is concerned, I'm back to stage 4.

As for Perez, I'm still at Stage 2.

Beam Me Up, Beckett

Squawker Lisa, I realize that two of your least favorite things are Josh Beckett and "Star Trek," but I think even you will be amused at a clever piece comparing the two written by friend of the Squawkers Sully Baseball:

How Josh Beckett and the Star Trek films mirror each other

After I read Sully's piece, I realized that Oliver Perez mirrors "V." Both were clearly dead in the water by the end of last season, yet both somehow continue to avoid richly deserved pink slips.

The lost Taco Bell ad with Jerry Manuel and Francisco Rodriguez

Inside a Taco Bell, JERRY MANUEL walks up to a CUSTOMER staring at his chalupa.

MANUEL

You're done, kid. You're slower than John Maine.

Manuel touches his left arm. The customer gets up and Manuel slaps him on the butt.

PEDRO FELICIANO walks over. He has put on a lot of weight.

FELICIANO

Skip, I don't feel too good.

CUSTOMER

This is what happens when you make him help finish a chalupa every day.

MANUEL
Fine, I'll just go to my closer.

Manuel slaps Feliciano on the butt. He touches his right arm.

As FRANCISCO RODRIGUEZ walks toward the chalupa, he passes the exiting customer.

CUSTOMER
Let's see if you can have a good outing for a change.

RODRIGUEZ
Excuse me?

CUSTOMER
You heard me.

The customer and Rodriguez start shoving each other. Rodriguez slips and falls, slamming his jaw on the corner of a table.

CUT TO:

Rodriguez sits glumly. His jaw is wired shut.

Trainer RAY RAMIREZ turns to Manuel.

RAMIREZ
I’m afraid he won’t be finishing any chalupas the rest of the season.

Manuel throws his hands in the air. OLIVER PEREZ approaches the chalupa.

Manuel slaps Ramirez on the butt.

RAMIREZ
Aren’t you supposed to slap Frankie?

MANUEL
You think I'm laying a hand on him?

Perez picks up the chalupa, cardboard packaging and all, and starts to put the whole thing in his mouth.

MANUEL
You're not supposed to eat the cardboard.

Perez takes the chalupa out of the box. But as he brings it to his face, he misses his mouth and the chalupa flies out of his hands and up in the air.

LUIS CASTILLO settles under the flying chalupa. It lands in his hands, then bounces out and hits the floor, splattering everyone with ground beef, nacho cheese, bits of taco shell and toppings.

At a nearby table, JEFF WILPON turns to SANDY ALDERSON.

WILPON
All right, Sandy - think you can clean up this mess?

Mets don't need advice from Scott Boras

Good times for Met fans - the Yankees and Phillies are off and running, Roy Halladay pitches the second postseason no-hitter ever, K-Rod is back in court and now Scott Boras has weighed in on what the Mets need in a new GM:

"The GM has to establish his control," Boras said. "In 30 years of doing this, the best and most successful general managers have the biggest rubber bands and know when to flex them and when to retract and rebuild. If a GM doesn't have the ability to sign an impact player, it can impact a club for years."

Boras neglected to mention that when a GM has the ability to sign a Boras client like Oliver Perez, that will also impact a club for years.

And if Boras has ever actually praised a GM for knowing "when to retract and rebuild" instant of signing one of his high-priced clients, I have yet to see it.

I'm not even sure what Boras means when he talks about "flexing" and "rebuilding" with "the biggest rubber bands." Is he suggesting that the Mets create the world's biggest rubber band ball?

Boras ignores all those empty seats at Citi Field to praise "success" in "operating revenue issues":

"The New York Mets are probably in the top five in baseball as a model of what can be done," Boras said. "The business and infrastructure is run very well by the Wilpons. The issue is transferring the success they enjoy in business and operating revenue issues and getting it to the field.

Uh, I think even the Mets would concede that the last year has not exactly been top five business model material.

If Boras really wanted to help the Mets find success, he would encourage Perez to do what another Boras client, Alex Rodriguez, did three years ago and opt out of his contract.

Photo from Ripley's Believe It or Not!

Yankees have wild card while Mets have wild Oliver Perez

Maybe Jerry Manuel just didn't want his final game to end. Why else would he pull his two best hitters, David Wright and Jose Reyes, in the ninth inning, just so they could leave the field to standing ovations? It's the sort of thing you do when the game has already been decided, not when it's a 1-1 tie and neither team is generating any offense. When the game went into extra innings, the announcers soon began making comparisons to April's 20-inning game.

Sure, it didn't really matter who won or lost the game (though a Met win would have given them a tie for third with Florida instead of a second straight fourth-place finish). But the few remaining fans at Citi Field would doubtless have preferred to save their cheers for the end of the game with a walkoff win, which now had that much less of a chance of happening.

The game staggered into the 14th inning (with Reyes and Wright's lineup spots batting twice each) before Manuel decided it was time to put this miserable season out of its misery.

He brought in Oliver Perez.

For me, the highlight of the game came when Ollie actually struck out the first batter he faced and the remaining fans began a loud chant of "M-V-P!" Ollie, perhaps panicked by what he took to be increased expectations, quickly reverted to form and hit the next batter before walking the next three to force in a run.

Now the game, and season, were all but over. But Manuel had one last dubious managerial decision left. Pat Misch pitched eight innings on Friday night, but that didn't stop Manuel from bringing him back to pitch in relief on one day's rest. The way Manuel deals with injuries and injury risk, his next job really should be in football. Fortunately, it only took Misch three pitches to get out of the inning with a double play.

Now the Mets are done and I get to hear Squawker Lisa get insulted over the Yankees selling wild card t-shirts. Met fans don't even get "Tied for Third Place" t-shirts. At least we have our own postseason fireworks to look forward to, perhaps as early as Monday. Regime change can't come soon enough.

Rays give away 20,000 tickets while Mets offer empty 'Thank you'

When I first saw the ad on SNY in which the Mets collectively say, "Thank you, fans," I thought it was a promo for Fan Appreciation Day. When I saw the logo from the TV ad on mets.com, I clicked on it, wondering what gifts were in store for the few hardy souls still heading out to Citi Field as another disappointing season comes to a close. But the link only led to an opportunity to buy full-price tickets for the remaining games. Not much of a thank-you considering that tickets are available on StubHub for as little as two dollars and field level seats in a section behind the dugout can be had for $40.

Just as Rays management felt the need to do something above and beyond, Mets management should have explored ways to actually get some fannies in the seats for the final game. How about a pregame ceremony featuring some parting gifts for those we hope will soon be departing:

• For Jerry Manuel: A personalized MRI machine in honor of his eagerness to keep players in the lineup regardless of their physical condition. Jon Niese should have been shut down before the exhausted rookie could collapse down the stretch. Carlos Beltran has played just about every game since his return and now he needs to be shut down with inflammation in the knee, just to name the two most recent victims.
• For Omar Minaya: Season tickets for the Newark Bears and the Long Island Ducks of the independent Atlantic League, so Omar can scout for the next Gary Matthews Jr., Mike Jacobs and Frank Catalanotto.
• For Luis Castillo: A deluxe DVD edition of "Inception," since Castillo must be living in a dream world if he thinks he is going to get a starting job anywhere else in MLB.

As for Oliver Perez, he should get to start the final game. But as he takes the mound, the public address announcer will inform the crowd that as soon as Ollie gives up a run, he will be released on the spot.

Finally, a meaningful game in October, as Perez pitches for his Met career. If he pitches a shutout, he can stick around. Maybe his problems really are all in his head, and he can still pitch like the guy who got that huge contract. Imagine the suspense if Ollie shuts down the Nationals into the late innings. Can he pull it off? Will the MLB network air the ninth inning live?

Oh, who are we kidding - Ollie won't make it through the first inning without giving up a run. Maybe the first batter. And then he'll be gone for good.

Now that's the way to say, "Thank you, fans."

Is Oliver Perez trying to get himself released?

Last year, the big story with the Mets was how many of them ended up in the hospital. Now the big story is which Mets failed to go to the Walter Reed Hospital to visit with injured vets. Carlos Beltran and Luis Castillo at least offered explanations as to why they didn't go.

"I don't know who is creating this issue," Beltran said. "I had my own things to do, and I couldn't make it."

Beltran explained that he had a meeting involving his own charity and that he had previously visited a veterans hospital with Fred Wilpon.

Whether or not you accept Beltran's explanation probably depends on what one thinks of him in the first place. If you take him at his word, his heart is in the right place, but he didn't realize how his actions would look to management, fans and the media.

Or maybe he doesn't care. Beltran has reason to be fed up with Mets management after how they initially dealt with his injuries. And he has probably lost many of the fans for good. In the final year of Beltran's contract, expect him to be highly motivated to do well so that he can get a big new contract somewhere else.

Luis Castillo said that he missed the trip to Walter Reed because he was "squeamish." Now he knows how Met fans feel when they see his name in the lineup. If that is the real reason Castillo didn't go, then he certainly is clueless, but not necessarily someone who is not a team guy.

But if Castillo is fed up with the Mets, then he is even more clueless. Castillo probably wouldn't be on a big league roster were it not for his contract. If he has become a malcontent who thinks he should be starting, that is even more reason to get rid of him as soon as possible.

And then there's Oliver Perez. The days of Good Ollie and Bad Ollie are long gone - now there's only Bad Ollie, who didn't even try to come up with an excuse:

"I don't answer," Perez said, "anything about outside the stadium."

It's as if Perez' agent, Scott Boras, has been telling him what to say and do so that the Mets cut him loose. Knowing Boras, he thinks he can somehow parlay Perez' freedom into even more undeserved money.

Ultimately, this story comes down to the same old story for the Mets - they need to eat the contracts of Perez and Castillo. Beltran is more complicated, since he actually has a chance of regaining at least some of his skills.

But the first objective of the offseason must be to make sure that we don't have endure any more such stories about Perez and Castillo, because they will finally be gone.

Check out Squawker Lisa's take on the Mets' visit to Walter Reed in The Faster Times.

Mets honor '86 greats, then get started on 2010 Hall of Shame

When Davey Johnson was inducted into the Mets Hall of Fame this afternoon, he told the crowd, "if you don't win, you don't really like us a lot." Johnson went on to say that the fans inspired the 1986 Mets. Unfortunately, the celebration of the Mets' last championship did nothing to inspire the current team, which put on a dismal display that left the booing crowd not really liking them a lot.

I'm glad that Squawker Lisa and I were there for the ceremonies. The actual game, not so much. At least, unlike the last game at Shea Stadium, the festivities were held before the awful game, when fans were still in a good mood.

By the end of the game, I was hoping for another ceremony - inductions into the 2010 Mets Hall of Shame, along with the following acceptance speeches:

GM Omar Minaya: Frank Cashen spoke of how his Met teams set attendance records. As I look around at the empty seats, I wonder if we, too, are closing in on a record - biggest attendance decline in the second year of a new ballpark.

But I couldn't have done it alone. I work for a team that doesn't want to spend more money, but claims that it does, which makes me look like the one who just couldn't get a deal done at the trade deadline.

Then again, if my hands weren't tied, I probably would have done something like trade Angel Pagan for Jake Westbrook.

At least I was able to stack this year's roster with retreads like Mike Jacobs, Gary Matthews Jr. and Frank Catalanotto.

Manager Jerry Manuel: Omar, you may have provided the pieces, but I was the one who batted Mike Jacobs cleanup on Opening Day and started Gary Matthews Jr. over Angel Pagan at the beginning of the year. I made John Maine my number two starter coming out of spring training. And I'm the one who pitched Fernando Nieve every day until he lost his effectiveness.

Jose Reyes, your uniform says 7, but you'll always be a number 3 hitter to me. And then there's my bullpen strategy - if you can call it that. (laughs)

Second baseman Luis Castillo: I would not be here were it not for the people on this stage. Jerry, thanks for batting me second so many times this year. And Omar, I want to thank you and ownership most of all for not eating my contract. Instead of my poor performance getting me quietly designated for assignment, your insistence on keeping me around has turned me into the Mets' version of Eddy Curry. (quickly looks down the stage) Oh, I'm sorry, Ollie - didn't mean to step on your toes.

(At the mention of Ollie's name, the fans start booing.)

Finally, I want to say that there is no greater thrill than winning a ring in New York. And I'm so grateful that I had the opportunity to do just that - when the Florida Marlins clinched the 2003 World Series at Yankee Stadium.

Pitcher Oliver Perez: Dwight Gooden said that the fans' rhythmic clapping inspired him to get that third strike. I am also fortunate enough to get a strong fan response every time I take the mound.

(The crowd boos.)

When I hear that sound, it's as if you are saying Ooooooooooooh! So that's what a $36 million pitcher looks like!

(The boos get louder.)

Look, I know I've gotten a lot of grief for not wanting to pitch in the minors, but I don't see how people can criticize me for not wanting to pitch in the minors when I'm willing to pitch for the Mets!

(The booing gets so loud that Mr. Met covers his ears.)

Okay, maybe that came out wrong. But do you really want to trade me for Carlos Zambrano? His contract is a lot bigger and he's even crazier than I am! And, well, this franchise hasn't exactly had good luck with Zambranos in the past.

(The crowd starts chanting "We want Zambrano!" Security drags Ollie off the stage.)

Howie Rose: Our final induction into the 2010 Hall of Shame, is...

Met fans.

Management responded to the calls for the team's history to be honored, but when the biggest names of 1986 finally got their long-overdue induction into the Mets Hall of Fame, there were too many empty seats.

Photo by Jon Lewin.

Fire Oliver Perez now - and Luis Castillo later

Daily News columnist John Harper has come up with the best short-term solution to the Mets' woes - get rid of Oliver Perez now.

I have been opposed to this idea but I have come around. I didn't like the prospect that Ollie's agent Scott Boras could be conspiring to force the Mets to set Perez free so that he could sign with the Yankees or Phillies and suddenly regain his form. Ollie has pitched well in both ballparks. Plenty of teams will be willing to gamble the minimum on Perez, who is still young and appears to be healthy (physically at least).

But as Harper points out, Perez is throwing only 86 mph and "still doesn't know where the ball is going."

A few years ago, the Yankees thought they were being clever when they took Armando Benitez off of the Mets' hands. But they got rid of Benitez just three weeks later.

Squawker Lisa, one advantage of the Yankees getting Ollie is that Joba Chamberlain and A.J. Burnett would no longer have to worry about being the biggest head case on the team.

As Harper notes, dumping Ollie now would send a positive message to the team that they "really do want to win." It would also send the same message to the fans, who have some reason to doubt it.

Just as in the offseason, the Mets are not taking on payroll after saying they would. Bengie Molina and Joel Pineiro were supposedly not worth it. With Molina, the Mets went for a much cheaper option in Rod Barajas, which looked like a good move in May, but now, not so much.

With Pineiro and all the other available pitchers, the Mets tried to say with a straight face that they were no improvement over the likes of Ollie and John Maine.

Actually, I'm more concerned with the Mets giving away prospects for the likes of Ted Lilly than whether or not they take on payroll. After Cliff Lee and Dan Haren, there's not much more that is worth either prospects or payroll.

But perhaps the best thing about eating the rest of Ollie's contract is that it would set a badly-needed precedent. Right now, Luis Castillo is the Mets' best option at second base. But wouldn't it be great if this offseason, the Mets were willing to eat the remainder of Castillo's contract, which will only have a year to run, and finally upgrade the position?

That would be something to look forward to - along with upgrades at manager and GM.