Where's Suzyn? The New York Times' Very Strange Profile on John Sterling

The New York Times has a 3000+ word profile this weekend on the Yankees' radio broadcaster John Sterling. I found the article, written by Bill Pennington, interesting, but I also found it a little infuriating and head-scratching as well.

First of all, Pennington doesn't seem to understand the Internet. He writes that Sterling "has spawned more than 100 Web sites dedicated to denigrating his emblematic calls and his anomalous broadcasting style." Nonsense. There may have been more than 100 sites that have criticized Sterling at times (including Subway Squawkers!) but writing that there are that many sites devoted just to mocking him is completely untrue -- and it's also a scurrilous accusation to make. It's the type of so-called "fact" that people will quote, because they read it in the Times, even though it's inaccurate.

The truth is that there is exactly one site -- It is High, It Is Far, It Is Caught -- that is solely dedicated to mocking Sterling, albeit in a good-natured way. And the article described Hart Seely, creator of the site, as calling himself "a Sterling fan." Seely says that "Sometimes, John is like a caricature of a baseball announcer who would be on a TV sitcom." However, he also says this:

"But for the serious Yankees fan, he has a lot of appeal. Some people, most of them not Yankees fans, think that because the Yankees are a flagship franchise, they should have a network-level announcer who is never a homer. But the truth is, when the Yankees do something wrong, John rips them, like any psychotic Yankees fan. At the same time, like a true Yankees fan, when they win, John cannot control himself. The joy bursts from his breast."

Look, I'm not saying that Sterling doesn't get criticism on the web -- of course he does -- but the idea that there are over 100 web sites owing their very existence to mocking his every move is overstating the case by about a hundred! I mean, really. Casey Anthony may be the most hated woman in America, but there aren't even 100 web sites devoted just to her!

Anyhow, the author of the Times piece also writes:

He is the regular whipping boy of two New York tabloid sports media columnists. Radio talk-show hosts play tapes of his radio calls almost daily, frequently mocking his shtick and picking apart his missteps, whether they are misidentified players or a hasty, over-amped home run call on what ultimately became a long flyout.

That is true, but sometimes some of the Sterling clips played, like the home run calls and his WinWarble at the end of the game, are done in a good-natured, funny way. And Evan Roberts of WFAN, to name one example, is as obsessed as I am with coming up with possible home run calls for new players for Sterling to use.

But this topic brings me to the most jarring thing about the article -- the almost complete absence of Sterling's companera, as he calls co-host Suzyn Waldman, from the article. The sole mention of her is this: "He has worked with Suzyn Waldman since 2005." What? No interview with her? No discussion of the complete lack of chemistry the two have (one of my own complaints about the broadcasts?) Writing about Sterling without talking about Waldman is writing about Laverne without mentioning Shirley!

Besides, as we talked about yesterday with the Squawkers' radio show host friend Larry Milian, Suzyn Waldman clips are staples of sports radio, too. Suzyn's "goodness gracious" Roger Clemens remarks, and her crying over what turned out to be Joe Torre's last game as also rebroadcast incessantly on sports radio shows around the country. (The other day, I just heard WEEI hosts play Suzyn's tears as if she were crying over Terry Francona's last game!)

The article also gets into complaints that Sterling is too much of a homer. But I want my broadcasters to be homers! Frank Messer wasn't a homer, and he was pretty dull to listen to. My issues with Sterling is more than it's sometimes hard to follow what's going on in the games, between the schtick and the incessant on-air shilling for advertisers.

The other thing about leaving Suzyn out of the story is that if you're going to talk, as the article does, about whether Sterling will be back, the future of Waldman should also be discussed. Will they both be gone, or one of them, or will they stay? It doesn't make much sense to speculate on his future without including her in the mix.


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Big Disappointment: John Sterling's Jesus Montero Home Run Calls

When Jesus Montero was called up to the majors, I asked my Facebook friends to predict what John Sterling's home run call would be. I got lots of responses, such as "Jesus Montero Superstar," "Jesus Juiced One," and even "Holy Moses, Jesus Crucified it." And people were very interested in the subject.

So when Montero hit his first home run, I expected something maybe show-tunes related from Sterling. Something memorable. Instead, we got "Jesus is loose." What? He had all weekend to come up with something catchy, and we got a cheesy knockoff from "The Goose Is Loose"? Puh-lease.

And when Montero hit his second home run of the day, Sterling expanded on his call, saying "Jesus has been turned loose." Really? What is this, some Unleash the Kraken reference or something? Hate it. Back to the drawing board, John!

* * *

Something else I wasn't crazy about were Brian Cashman's comments the other day on Montero. He told ESPN's Ian O'Connor that "In terms of hitting ability, Montero can be a Manny Ramirez or a Miguel Cabrera." He also said, "As a catcher, he's got a cannon for an arm. As far as everything and what I want him to be, I want him to be Jorge Posada. He has a chance to bat third or fourth. He has the potential to be a beast in the middle of our lineup."

What, why not throw in Babe Ruth, Ted Williams, and Yogi Berra to make the comparisons even more hard to live up to? Good grief.

I fail to see how hyping up a rookie so much is a good thing.

How about being happy for now if Montero can be better than Francisco Cervelli? Isn't that enough at the moment?

And when I told Squawker Jon what Cashman said, he snapped back, "Then why did Cashman try to trade Montero for two months of Cliff Lee?" Good point!

What do you think? Tell us about it!

Why Didn't John Sterling Have a Home Run Call Ready for Francisco Cervelli?

The most shocking thing about Sunday's Yankee win wasn't Derek Jeter hitting two home runs, or even Francsico Cervelli hitting a grand slam. It was the fact that John Sterling did not have a personalized home run call for Cervelli ready to go.

Granted, Cervelli only had one home run in his career prior to Sunday. But geez, Sterling had "Russell has muscle" prepared for Russell Martin in only his second game as a Yankee. And Andruw Jones got the "Andruw Jones makes his bones" treatment for the homer he hit in his very first at-bat in pinstripes. Cervelli has been on the team since 2008. Is it too much to expect Sterling to have *something* in the can for him? I think not, especially when there are more than a few options.

Squawker Jon and I were tossing around some ideas for what Sterling could have done. Here are some possible calls. If John Sterling happens to hear about this, he is free to use any of these ideas:

* Frankie 'Velli and the four-bagger!
* It's a San Francisco Treat!
* Francisco Cervelli turns pitchers to jelly!
* Cervelli hits that ball to New Delhi!
* Turn on your telly and watch Cervelli!
* It's the Frisco Kid!
* What's the buzzelli? It's Francisco Cervelli!
* Frankie Goes to Hollywood!
* Francisco hits the disco!
* What the helli? There goes Cervelli!

Or maybe you have some better ideas for home run calls for Cervelli? What do you think?

John Sterling's Russell Martin Call -- In French! -- Is Highlight of Weekend

Saturday was a good game for the Yankees against the Red Sox, but I hated seeing the old Josh Beckett Sunday, who looked like the Beckett of the 2003 World Series, not the Beckett who the Yanks have killed in recent years. Anyhow, instead of dwell on how puny the Yanks looked last night, I'd like to note that Russell Martin had two homers in one game Saturday, and that John Sterling added a call -- in French! -- to his repertoire:



Now, even though I took French in high school and college, I'm not quite sure what Sterling is saying! But I give him an A for effort here, to try to appeal to Martin's heritage (his mother is French Canadian, and he was born and raised in Ontario.)

I'm really digging Martin so far -- he has replaced Jorge Posada, a Yankee icon, at catcher pretty effortlessly.

* * *

Speaking of broadcasters, what did you think of the new Sunday night crew? I wasn't impressed with Bobby Valentine saying about how nobody predicted that the Jets would beat the Patriots last year. Um, I did!

What do you think? Tell us about it?

Thoughts on John Sterling's "Russell Has Muscle" Home Run Call for Russell Martin

Before it's too late, I want to talk about John Sterling's home run call yesterday for Russell Martin. I missed hearing it live, but ESPN's Andrew Marchand reports that it was "Russell has muscle." Not bad -- it has the requisite Sterling cheesiness/charm, without being too out there (I half-expected a Dean Martin reference or something!). Right now, I would rank "Russell has muscle" with "Robbie Cano, don'tcha know!"

Anyhow, I am kicking myself a little. If I had known the new Yankee starting catcher was going to hit a homer in only the second game of the year, I would have started asking Subway Squawkers readers earlier on what they thought Sterling would use for his home run calls. Come to think of it, we'd better start coming up with thoughts and ideas for Eric Chavez, Andruw Jones, and Gustavo Molina!

When I heard about "Russell has muscle," I asked Squawker Jon to guess what Sterling's home run call was. His first guess? Russell Crows! (Get it?) When Jon couldn't figure it out (I think he was relieved that he found himself unable to think like Sterling), I started giving him hints. I went so far as to spot him the first two letters of the last word ("Russell has mu....") and he still couldn't get it, taking stabs such as:

* Russell has mustard
* Russell has mummies
* Russell has mumps
* Russell has Mummenschanz

Anyhow, Jon finally did get it right. But "Russell has Mummenschanz" does have a catchy ring, doesn't it?

What do you think? Tell us about it!

Twin killing: Yankees go up 2-0 against Minnesota

I'm very happy the Yankees have won the first two games of the ALDS, and I'm particularly happy that Curtis Granderson and Lance Berkman were the big hitting heroes last night. (Not to mention that Andy Pettitte stepped up bigtime!) I heard that John Sterling said "Sir Lancelot Does It Again" about Berkman's homer!

But I did feel a little sorry for the Minnesota Twins yesterday, especially after hearing about all the steps they took to exorcise the demons after Game 1: Ron Gardenhire burned his uniform, Orlando Hudson's family did a prayer group, the players didn't eat that their usual waffle house, team leader (yes!) Carl Pavano suggested that they switch up the uniforms, etc., etc.

And while their fans did those idiotic "Yankees suck" chants, at least they are loyal, knowledgeable fans who show up to support their team, unlike what Tampa Bay has.

Yet the results were the same for the Twins, despite them yet again taking the lead first. Hopefully, the Yankees will put the nail in the Twins' coffin tomorrow (after 2004, I never stop worrying until the series is over, even if it's against Minnesota!) Never say never. Who would have thought that the Texas Rangers, who had won exactly one playoff game in three tries, would be up 2-0 against the Rays? Even DJ Kitty couldn't get the job done for Tampa so far!

What do you think? Tell us about it!

John Sterling goes too far with Marcus Thames call

I was busy for most of Labor Day weekend, so I didn't get to see much of what was happening in Yankeeland (although Squawker Jon and I did watch a bunch of the Dallas Braden game when we were eating clam strips at Martell's Tiki Bar!)

But I did hear John Sterling make a horrifying call -- maybe his worst yet -- about Marcus Thames. Sterling exhorted, "Happy Thames are here again" over a Thames hit. Um, no. It's "Happy DAYS Are Here Again." So the play on words here -- using Thames as the word Times -- makes no sense. If Sterling wants to say something about "Good Thames" or something, that would be one thing. But you can't just willy-nilly throw in Thames' name in the "Happy Thames" scenario. It just sounds terrible!

Speaking of terrible, it figures that when I sit down to watch a full game last night, like I did to watch CC Sabathia go for No. 20 against the Baltimore Orioles, that CC would lose his first game at Yankee Stadium in over a year. Bummer.

What do you think? Tell us about it!

Eat, pray, squawk -- a weekend (mostly) away from baseball

I missed most of the action in Yankeeland this weekend, as I was on the "Eat, Pray, Squawk" tour to coincide with the "Eat, Pray, Love" movie opening!

Squawker Jon and I went down the shore Saturday to attend my high school reunion. Since I went to a Catholic school, that classifies as the "pray" part, I guess. We also had clam strips at Martell's Tiki Bar in Point Pleasant afterwards, which fits in as the "eat" part. And the "squawk" part was in the car with Jon, when it took over 2 1/2 hours of traffic-filled driving to make it to the shore in the first place!

Anyhow, on the way back from the Jersey Shore Saturday night, Jon and I flipped the radio back and forth between the Yankees and Mets games. I didn't get to hear A-Rod's first two homers live, but I did see the third one of the game on TV when I got home. That last homer was the one I would have loved to have heard John Sterling's home run call. He must have gone insane over it!

I did hear Sterling's two Granderson calls, though, and nearly drove off the road laughing at the silliness of them. Yes, Grandy gets both the "Something Sort of Grandish" and "The Grandy Man Can" calls. How is it that him and Mark Teixeira have two home run calls each, and Derek Jeter and A-Rod only have one?

I had committee meetings I had to attend on Friday and Sunday, so I missed most of both games. Then again, I didn't miss much! Losing two out of four to Kansas City is nothing to write home about, that's for sure!

What do you think? Tell us about it!

Austin Kearns' homer gets special John Sterling call, but what about Mark Teixeira's baby?

Missed opportunity -- I should have written something earlier trying to predict John Sterling's home run calls for new Yankees Austin Kearns and Lance Berkman. At any rate, Kearns hit his first Yankee homer last night, and I heard Sterling exclaimed, "Austin Powers," over it. Good one! I was wondering if there would be an Austin, Texas related call -- like "Keep Austin Weird" or something like that --t, but "Austin Powers" is pretty good.

Anyhow, I'm guessing that Berkman, aka Fat Elvis, will get some Presley-related call from Sterling whenever he hits a homer. Squawker readers, what do you think the call will be?

So  Mark Teixeira was back with the team Thursday, after missing two games on baby leave. I half-expected Sterling to have some baby-related call to announce the arrival of William Charles Teixeira. Wouldn't that have been cool?

What do you think? Tell us about it!

Why are Yankee fans cheering when Hideki Matsui hits a home run against their team?

Not exactly the greatest of games last night - the Yankees looked really flat, and Phil Hughes didn't have it. But the thing that ticked me off the most about the loss was hearing Yankee fans cheer the opposition. When Hideki Matsui hit a homer off Chan Ho Park to put the game out of reach for the Bombers, all too many Yankee fans got excited over it. The worst was that female "fan" clad in Yankee gear holding up a sign for Matsui and cheering and bopping around like the Yankees won the World Series or something. Good grief.

This isn't the first time this has happened this year - Yankee fans did the same thing in an April Angels-Yankees game, when Matsui hit a homer to put Anaheim ahead. I don't get that at all. It's one thing to give an ex-Yankee like Matsui a round of cheers the first time his name is called out in the lineup. After all, even though Matsui and the Angels were in the Bronx in April, that doesn't mean everybody in the ballpark was there any of those games.

But it's an entirely different deal to cheer him every time, and to applaud him when he gets a homer, or even a hit, against your team. Matsui isn't a Yankee any more. I have no reason to cheer his home runs now, especially when they're against the Yanks.


Enough with the Matsui worship already. It's like when Billy Crystal wore a Switzerland hat when the Yankees played the Dodgers, because of Joe Torre. Please. To me, it's not a hard decision to root for the Yankees over former Yankees. My team comes first. Johnny Damon was one of my favorite Yankees ever, but if he hits a homer against the Bombers when he returns to the Bronx this summer, I will hold my applause.

Look, I'm not saying to boo Matsui. I'm just saying that the silly applause and cheers for his hitting feats against the Yankees need to end. It's annoying.

One other thing - didn't hear the game on the radio, so I don't know if John Sterling did the Thrilla by Godzilla call, the way he did this April. Does anybody know?

What do you think? Tell us about it!